still rawsome?

alright. so despite my lack of posting, because of a mind boggling amount of school and work, i've been trying to be healthy. trying being the operative word. this has been difficult.

while i'm not training for a marathon anymore (though i am signed up to do another half NEXT weekend, which maybe is a mistake), and have done hardly any running since disney, i'm slowly feeling myself crumble away. is all this hard work slipping? school and work have proven to be incredibly overwhelming, yet i do not have the means to support myself without a job, and this job, as crazy as my early mornings are, does provide a sense of stress relief(or maybe more stress, i don't know) just to keep my mind off of other things.

while i'm going to spinning class, and trying to catch a yoga class here and there (which is what i really need), i'm having a really hard time managing my time... and therefore, having a hard time managing what i eat. i fear that most of my sheer exhaustion comes from the fact that i'm not eating raw, or totally raw due to just going for what's 'easy' instead of really thinking about what i'm shoveling in my mouth. most mornings and lunches i start off great, but come 2 or 3pm when i've been up since 4 in the morning i start to crash and that's when i lose it.

my stomach, which i think is mostly from anxiety, has still been bothering me lately. stress will do that to you. after keeping a pretty religious food journal, tracking how i'm feeling after i eat, dates
seem to be the one thing that really bothers my stomach (besides what i create myself). this does cause a problem, as dates are a base for almost all raw food bars, dips, etc. in a raw food diet. but i'm trying to work my way around it. i've ruled out nuts, and also the issue i was having with hummus: now i make it at home and my stomach is okay: just a forewarning, be careful with new blades on the food processor, i probably should have gone to the hospital for a stitch or two on my thumb.

i have joined the jillian michaels website (affordable, something like $10 a month), which is great for weightlifting training for my not so strong arms, and i have lost another 2 pounds, still teetering on that 20 pound mark. i keep going back and forth between 17/19 pounds. all i can try to do is take it day by day, and really try to stick with it. sometimes, it's hard with no live in support system. this blogging outlet keeps me somewhat sane.